Like many people, I never planned on being single, or should I say divorced at this stage in my life, but you have to accept life when it serves you lemons. As I get older, I’m noticing a trend in the dating scene. I’ve come across many women whose claim to fame for years was, “my kids come first”. Now, many of them have nothing to do with their free time, because they’re kids have grown up and started a life of their own. That’s right, Lil Bobby, is now Robert. A grown man with an active dating life and a child of his own.

Now that he’s grown and dating, the ladies in his life aren’t receptive to his Mother constantly coming around and offering her advice in his personal life, especially his dating life. And trust me, in most cases that man will side with his woman. Now, it’s understandable that old habits are hard to break. You’ve made your son the star of your life, putting both his wants and needs before your own. Over the years, you took pride in not allowing men around your son or children because you always hear stories about parents who weren’t careful.. You should be proud, but you’re may be thinking about the potentially good men you didn’t give a chance to because you were only focused on your children.

It’s challenging to have a personal life and children, especially if you’re single. You shouldn’t have strangers or acquaintances around your kids. At the same time, are you depriving yourself of your life because you have kids? Personally, I’ve attempted to date women who have kids and many times I was confused on who was the person with authority and who was the underage person. I’ve seen women beam with pride on how protective their kids are of them, especially their sons.  Sons are so protective of their mothers… remember all men don’t have the same patience as Melvin in the movie “Baby Boy”. Those damn Jody’s…..

Are you raising your kids up to be strong, independent people, or are you potentially setting them and you up for failure, because of the nature of your parent-child relationship? What happens when your child, who has been your constant companion, now has a life of their own which may not include as much interaction with you? Are you prepared?

A suggestion… just like you’re preparing them to become adults, prepare for your future as well and decide what you want that to look like. Also remember, if you’re equally yoked with your partner, you can decrease your chances of disagreements because you’re on the same page.

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