Black Mothers and the dangers of publicly shaming their sons!

From my experience, when there is a child shaming video posted on social media, it tends to be a Black mother or women of color, disciplining the child for the world to see. These videos are intended to be funny, but the intimidation, humiliation, and abuses towards the child is undeniable. Back in the day, our Mothers would warn us about acting a fool in public and getting disciplined in public, but these videos tell a different story. It almost seems as these Mothers take delight and get joy from embarrassing their child on social media.

Now, you take that humiliation and abuse, and then mix it with the things that are often said around young men growing up, and you’re making a cocktail for dislike.  Despite growing up in a two parent household, I must admit that I heard from multiple female family members and neighbors how Black men and boys were no good, cheaters, liars, lazy… you name it. In most of these cases, the women were always helpless victims and the men were heartless users and abusers. Those Black men and boys who weren’t, were usually called “an exception to the rule”.

Now you have a cocktail of verbal, physical and mental abuse. Instead of being treated with kid gloves and like a victim, these young Black men are again blamed for the way they were raised, things they witnessed as a child and the way they were made to feel. The effects of this cocktail can often change the way these young Black boys and men view, regard, and respect Black women. Because of this upbringing, some Black men decide that they prefer not to date or enter into a meaningful relationship with a Black woman, because of their previous experiences and traumas growing up.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some Men who are and always will be misogynistic towards women, especially Black women for no reason. However, there are some Men who have developed these feelings based on their personal experiences and traumas, and it usually came from someone they love and respect like a Parent or authority figure. Remember kids, both male and female, are very impressionable at a young age. We, as adults, need to be more conscious of our actions including the things we say out loud, even if we think that there’s no young person around to hear. It’s up to us to be the change that we want to see.